I got to hold Taboo’s hand in a thanksgiving prayer today :3 I…I…I’m never washing my hand again!
oh shit tight
It's For The Best
I punish myself for things I can’t control. My body punishes me every time I find happiness. And my mind… that bi-polar fuck, its the way it is because I need attention and I need to be loved. When I feel that I am, I’m the happiest person in the world. I have ambitions, I’m overly excited and I’m inspired to do well…to do nice things for others, to be nice to myself. Like I was this morning. This morning I had so many ideas and plans, and was really excited for this short break from school. I was going to wake up early tomorrow to make a really pretty centerpiece out of candles, pine cones, and fall colored flowers for my aunt for Thanksgiving. I was looking into learning about Interior Design, and some new books to read.
And now, well clearly something happened between this morning and now, cause if it didn’t I’d probably be posting some pictures of cute shit like cupcakes, pictures from the movie UP, photos of happy boys and girls together, etc… (And no, my sudden mood change doesn’t have anything to do with my previous post, not that it makes what was said any nicer…) Well, fuck it all. Seriously.
I’m tired of people making me believe that this world is beautiful. I’m tired of believing lies. I’m not a believer anymore. Goodbye Believer, Goodbye Dreamer. Although I completely lost interest in doing anything, I’m still gonna read a book cause I”m too tired of my story. Goodnight and Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you are all thankful for the amazing people out there.
And it takes more time than I’ve ever had, drains the life from me, makes me want to forget. As young as i was, i felt older back then, more disciplined, stronger and certain. But I was scared to death of eternity, I was saved by grace and destroyed by naivety, and I lied to myself and said it was for the best. So now faith is replaced with logic so cold, I’ve disregarded what i was now that I’m older. And i know much more then i did back then, but the more i learn the more i can’t understand. And I’ve become content with this life that i lead, where i drink to much and don’t believe in much of anything. And i lie to myself, and say its for the best.
As cynical as this was - and I’m a cynic - best read in such a long time. Bravo Mawee<3
People may think that the world is beautiful, but they are blinded by the lies. I now see the world as an ugly place.
